Dennis Hof has endorsed Republican candidate Ron Paul for President of the United States. Who the fuck is Dennis Hof? Why, Dennis Hof is the owner of the Moonlite BunnyRanch in Carson City, Nevada — a whorehouse.
Whorehouses — brothels, bordellos, nunneries, what have you — are legal in most of Nevada, so in a way, an open, well-known professional pimp publicly supporting the presidential campaign of a United States Congressman isn’t that big of a deal. Hof even held a press conference, and appeared on television to announce his endorsement of Paul, the Little Engine That Could of this election cycle.
Hof was flanked for his appearance on MSNBC by two eerie, animatronic skeletons who I shortly learned were actually women who worked at the Ranch. I’m libertarian to a sensible degree, so I have no problem with legalized prostitution carried out among consenting adults, but these girls were some of the roughest looking skanks I’ve ever set eyes on. Emaciated, with deep-set eyes, and wilted smiles that looked like the effort needed to work the muscles at the corners of their mouths was almost more than they could handle. Just looking at them standing on either side of the finely dressed and well-fed Dennis Hof was a deeply saddening experience. The phrase “rode hard and put away wet,” a favorite of my father’s, came to mind.
And just think — those two were the ones he picked to be on television with him! Fuck, what must the rest of the girls look like? People actually pay money to fuck these women. As far as hookers go, the gals at the BunnyRanch probably have it as good as folks in their career are likely to get it, and they still make the girl I worked with at Pilot with the crinkly hair who everyone knew smoked crack look close to almost sort of pretty by comparison. Hof says he’ll put a collection box outside the door and get the girls to work fundraising for Paul’s campaign. As if they didn’t have enough to do already.
Ron Paul has cultivated quite a constituency for himself over the last year: quack conspiracy theorists, unabashed white supremacists, and now one of the country's leading professional whoremongers. Is there any nationally embarrassing demographic he won’t take contributions from? If the members of the ufology community change their minds about Kucinich, maybe Paul can be their guy, too.