Just in case the fact that he is a religious fundamentalist with an admitted desire to "take back America for Christ" isn't enough of a reason not to vote for the guy, here are two other things I've noticed about Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee. They are minor and superficial, but you never know what will be the straw that breaks the camel's back before it passes through the eye of the needle.
First, there's something not right about the man's eyes. His pupils seem to be turned like a quarter-inch too far out, and it gives him the appearance of having two lazy eyes. I noticed it seeing him on Morning Edition today, when he looked straight ahead at the camera. I know how evangelicals of Huckabee's ilk like to squint their eyes shut while praying, so I'm thinking maybe he pulled something while beseeching God to give his campaign for the White House the faintest chance in hell of succeeding.
Second — and ordinarily I wouldn't mention this, but he's made it an issue himself by repeatedly bringing it up during interviews and debates — I think it's fairly obvious that he is regaining all that weight he lost. See him during that last televised debate? More spillage from behind the lectern than ever before. He's inching back up toward his old Arkansas fighting weight. Normally, I wouldn't give a shit how much the guy weighed. Everyone sees what a bucket 'o shit Al Gore is now, right? But Huckabee has repeatedly brought up his own weight loss as evidence of his discipline and self-control, in contrast to that of, say, George W. Bush, who did enough cocaine in the '70s and '80s to kill a herd of elephants. So what does it mean now that Huckabee is gradually inflating? Will he lose one of the few qualifications, however questionable, he possesses for the presidency?
So there you go, two more strikes against Huckabee. Here's a fun challenge: can anyone come up with a reason to vote for the guy?