Sitting in Halfway Park between classes today, I saw something out the window of my truck that was so stupid, so bizarre, that spoke so eloquently to the needlessly complicated and overprotected nature of our modern 21st century existence, that I just had to snap a picture and share it with you.
Have I hyped it enough? Will you feel let-down no matter what it is now? Okay, here it is:
That, if you can't tell, is the metal frame of a park bench. The wooden slats comprising the parts you actually sit on have been removed, and the skeleton has been wrapped in yellow caution tape.
Is that the most ridiculous thing you've ever seen or what? Have people been injured in attempting to sit down on the nonexistent bench? Have there been complaints?
For a moment I thought it must have been some sort of safety measure for the children who might play in the park. But there's no padding or any other sort of protection in place, just plastic tape wrapped around hard steel posts. Some little kind could still crack his skull across there and spill his brains all over the ground. If anything, the yellow tape, by bringing more attention to it, makes the former bench even more dangerous. Now you can't miss it. If I was six years old, I'd be all over that motherfucker. Hell, I'm 27 and I was tempted to try and stretch out across it or something. They took the trouble to tape it up like that. Seems a shame to let it go unused.