Radiohead’s newest album “totally gay,” say two local teenagers
SHARPSBURG, MD—Initially released as a downloadable album on the Internet in October 2007, Radiohead’s most recent album In Rainbows
hit stores this past January. Upon seeing the cover of the album, best friends and local high school sophomores Chris Shrumer and Justin Fortinbras immediately recognized the record as being “totally gay.” When questioned about the criterion they used to arrive at such a diagnosis, both boys cited the multi-colored words featured on the cover, as well as the title. "It says it all,” Fortinbras explained. “I mean, In Rainbows
? Rainbows are so totally gay.” After being pressed for more evidence of the album’s sexual orientation, the boys also referenced Radiohead’s lead singer Thom Yorke’s use of the interim “h” in his first name. “That is just so gay,” Shrumer stated. “There is just no “h” in Tom.”
Both Fortinbras and Shrumer acquired a knack for discerning gayness roughly a year ago, and are now known for their acute gayness-sensing powers. This latest declaration of gayness is but one in a very long line of gay fingerings.
When asked if they had heard any of the songs on the CD, the boys said no. “No way am I going to listen to anything that gay,” Shrumer said.
“And besides,” Fortinbras added, “our moms wouldn't give us that much money.”