Among the lovely Ashley’s many, many virtues is the fact that she owns an impressive hardcover volume entitled The Limerick, published in 1964 and edited by G. Legman. Its 500+ pages are filled with 1,700 limericks collected from dozens of sources spanning nearly a hundred years. The filthy little ditties are divided into chapters according to subject. It is, I believe, one of the greatest books ever published.
Here are several choice examples from the book’s first chapter, entitled “Little Romances.” Enjoy.
There was a young girl of Aberystwyth Who took grain to the mill to get grist with The miller’s son, Jack, Laid her flat on her back, And united the organs they pissed with.
There was a young fellow named Charteris Put his hand where his young lady’s garter is. Said she, “I don’t mind, And up higher you’ll find The place where my fucker and farter is.”
A lady while dining at Crewe Found an elephant’s whang in her strew. Said the waiter, “Don’t shout, And don’t wave it about, Or the others will all want one too.”
In my sweet little Alice Blue gown Was the first time I ever laid down, I was both proud and shy As he opened his fly And the moment I saw it I thought I would die.
Winter is here with his grouch, The time when you sneeze and slouch. You can’t take your women Canoein’ or swimmin’, But a lot can be done on a couch.