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Steve Likes to Curse
Writing, comics and random thoughts from really a rather vulgar man
More dirty, dirty jokes 
Sunday, March 9th, 2008 | 10:46 am [humor]
Steve
Courtesy of Mefco's Random Joke Server:

—A man walks into a bar, and after a while picks up a girl.

They go back to his place and start a bit of foreplay. But the guy stops and says, "Listen give me a 68."

Bemused the girl says, "What the fucks a 68?"

He says "Give me a blow job and I'll owe you one."


—When the mother asked her little girl what she wanted for her birhtday, she said that she wanted a Barbie doll and GI Joe doll. The mother smiled and said, "but honey, Barbie comes with Ken."

The little girl looked at her mother and replied, "No Mommy; Barbie fakes with Ken, she comes with GI Joe."


—Here's a variation of an old favorite:

A little old lady went into the bank one day, carrying a bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, "It's a lot of money!"

After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the president's office (the customer is always right!). The bank president then asked her how much she would like to deposit.

She replied, "$165,000!" and dumped the cash out of her bag onto his desk.

The president was of course curious as to how she came by all this cash, so he asked her, "Ma'am, I'm surprised you're carrying so much cash around. Where did you get this money?"

The old lady replied, "I make bets."

The president then asked, "Bets? What kind of bets?"

The old woman said, "Well, for example, I'll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square."

Ha!" laughed the president, "That's a stupid bet. You can never win that kind of bet!"

The old lady challenged, "So, would you like to take my bet?"

"Sure," said the president, "I'll bet $25,000 that my balls are not square!"

The little old lady then said, "Okay, but since there is a lot of money involved, may I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00 AM as a witness?"

"Sure!" replied the confident president.

That night, the president got very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of a mirror checking his balls, turning from side to side, again and again. He thoroughly checked them out until he was sure that there was absolutely no way his balls were square and that he would win the bet.

The next morning, at precisely 10:00 am, the little old lady appeared with her lawyer at the president's office.

She introduced the lawyer to the president and repeated the bet: "$25,000 says the president's balls are square!"

The president agreed with the bet again and the old lady asked him to drop his pants so they could all see. The president complied. The little old lady peered closely at his balls and then asked if she could feel them.

"Well, Okay," said the president, "$25,000 is a lot of money, so I guess you should be absolutely sure."

Just then, he noticed that the lawyer was quietly banging his head against the wall.

The president asked the old lady, "What the hell's the matter with your lawyer?"

She replied, "Nothing, except I bet him $100,000 that at 10:00 AM today, I'd have the bank president's balls in my hand."
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