The next time I find myself with nothing to do, I'm going to sit down and make a list of all the things I will do should I ever find myself fabulously wealthy and thus above the law. At the top of this list: Every time I see a parked car with an animal locked inside, I'm going to put my goddamn foot through the window, whether it's cracked an inch or not. In fact, if I were a rich guy — or a cop — I'd pretty much just drive around putting my foot through cars with dogs in them all the time.
Last night Ashley and I went to the mall so I could buy myself a grossly overdue new pair of shoes. Parked right across from me in the lot was a white Mercedes. Inside that Mercedes was a hot and lonely dog, sitting in the front seat, watching out the window for any sign of his owner. I said something to Ashley about how much that pissed me off, and we went inside to the Shoe Dept.
I almost got a pair of black Hush Puppies until I realized they had no tread on the bottom and would be no good for walking in the woods. I found another pair more to my liking — black, leather, good tread, made in China and everything! — paid and we walked back outside. At first it looked like the dog was gone. I don't know what I thought, maybe that the owner had returned and had taken the dog out for a walk or something. A second went by and I saw the dog sit up in the back seat of the Mercedes. He must have resigned himself to his owner not coming back any time soon, and settled down for a nap. I opened the passenger door to my truck for Ashley, and keyed the hood of the Mercedes on my way around to the driver's side.
It felt good, doing the wrong thing for the right reason.