Way back in February I posted a few choice selections from a great book of Ashley’s, The Limerick. It contains a few thousand delightful little verses of the “There once was a man from Nantucket . . .” variety. Best bathroom reading ever, I’m telling you. Although she’s also got this volume of Mark Twain short stories and essays that’s a close runner-up.
The selections in that first article were from the book’s first chapter, “Little Romances.” Here are a few of the highlights of the next chapter, promisingly entitled “Organs.”
In the Garden of Eden lay Adam,
Complacently stroking his madam,
And loud was his mirth,
For on all of the Earth,
There were only two balls — and he had ‘em.
There was once a mechanic named Bench
Whose best tool was a sturdy gut-wrench.
With this vibrant device
He could reach, in a trice,
The innermost parts of a wench.
There was a young man of Bengal
Who swore he had only one ball,
But two little bitches
Unbuttoned his britches,
And found he had no balls at all.
A lady with features cherubic
Was famed for her area pubic.
When they asked her its size
She replied with surprise,
“Are you speaking of square feet, or cubic?”
There was a young man from Glengozzle
Who found a remarkable fossil.
He knew by the bend
And the wart on the end,‘Twas the peter of Paul the Apostle.