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Steve Likes to Curse
Writing, comics and random thoughts from really a rather vulgar man
Once again my ugly anti-Tolkienism bubbles to the surface 
Thursday, July 31st, 2008 | 11:48 am [batman, film, ranting]
Steve
There is no more simultaneously amusing and infuriating page on all the world wide web than the Internet Movie Database Top 250. The listing rates the best 250 films ever made, as determined by the votes of registered IMDb users. It changes from day to day, and well regarded recent releases usually rank way too high until enough time passes for them to settle into slightly more appropriate positions, but there are still a few insights to be gleaned from checking the Top 250 every few weeks.
 
For one thing, there are a hell of a lot of people out there who think The Shawshank Redemption is the greatest movie ever made. It seems like Shawshank and The Godfather trade the #1 spot more often than Triple H and The Rock traded the WWF Championship in 2000.
 
Today, they’re fighting over the second spot, as there is a hot new babyface on top at the moment:
 

 
The Dark Knight — the Kurt Angle of the IMDb Top 250, if you will. It won’t last. And it shouldn’t — for as much as I loved it, The Dark Knight isn’t The Godfather, or Pulp Fiction, or Schindler’s List, or Casablanca, or a few dozen other brilliant films that aren’t in that cap of the top ten. But at least Dark Knight is a legitimate great movie, unlike certain others I could mention that are constantly trying to crawl up the list, like spiders up a downspout.
 
I just happen to have an illustration handy:
 

 
Yep, there’s that Tolkien-spawned nerd-fest Return of the King at #14, ahead of City of God, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Rear Window, and fucking Goodfellas, for Christ’s sake. And there’s its predecessor a few spots down, The Fellowship of the Ring at #20, ten spots ahead of Sunset Boulevard, four up from Dr. Strangelove, and eight ahead of goddamn Citizen Kane, for the love of Willem Dafoe (Platoon’s at #139, by the way).
 
All you fucking Frodophiles who can’t get through all 36½ hours of your extended director’s cut DVDs without popping a hard-on should be ashamed of yourselves. Pull yourselves away from your fucking World of Warcraft session for a few seconds and listen up: Return of the King is ranked 16 spots ahead of Citizen Motherfucking Kane. If an advanced alien race of film buffs is secretly monitoring our culture, they are laughing at us.  That’s your fault. Giving Return of the King the Oscar over Lost in Translation and Mystic River a few years ago was bad enough, but the Academy is only a few thousand industry types, and they were mostly giving Peter Jackson a great big blow-job for all those millions of bucks his overwrought computer-generated D&D scenario brought in. The high rating given these feature length cut scenes on the populist IMDb is not so easy to explain away.
 
When the movie-loving aliens come to Earth and obliterate our civilization for pushing aside the City Lightses and The Third Mans in favor of bloated, charmless adaptations of that Wagner-robbing hack Tolkien, in the moments before their particle beam death-ray vaporizes us all into quarks, I’m pointing the finger at you. 
Comments 
Thursday, July 31st, 2008 | 06:31 pm (UTC)
Count me as one of those people that think Return of the King is a far better movie then Citizen Kane.
Thursday, July 31st, 2008 | 08:01 pm (UTC)
You've betrayed the human race.
Friday, August 1st, 2008 | 12:20 am (UTC)
Anonymous
Hey, there are more humans that agree with me then with you. Elves and Orcs too!

In fact, I think I'm going to go and rip it to my iPod so I can watch-listen to it tomorrow at work. I really love that movie.
Friday, August 1st, 2008 | 12:23 am (UTC) - Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
That was me. I guess I wasn't logged in to LiveJournal. You really need to switch to WordPress.
Friday, August 1st, 2008 | 03:12 pm (UTC)
It's only my respect for you that allows you to so utterly break my heart.
Thursday, July 31st, 2008 | 08:32 pm (UTC)
Anonymous
For all the shit I get from people because I prefer foreign films to Transformers I must be somewhat mainstream since 4 of my favourite films are on the IMDB's top 10. I will admit that I enjoy the Lord of the Rings films well enough, but I think they're very well done popcorn movies and hardly serious works.

And speaking of Batman, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oSkSDNl1w4E

- SJB
Thursday, July 31st, 2008 | 08:50 pm (UTC)
Four of your favorites in that top 10? Let me guess. Tell me how close I am:

Godfather, Godfather II, The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly, and Casablanca? Is that a decent stab, or did I miss them all?

Hilarious video, by the way. I saw that one last week. Nicely edited. I think someone at Black20.com must be a fan of the Keaton Batman.
Thursday, July 31st, 2008 | 10:27 pm (UTC)
Anonymous
Close, just swap out Casablanca for Pulp Fiction. Actually, Casablanca would probably be my least favourite of the top 10. I can appreciate it on a technical level and for its place in history but it never grabbed me. You can start the public stoning any time.

On an unrelated note that just popped in to my head, is this the first time you've posted every day during the course of a month?

-SJB
Thursday, July 31st, 2008 | 11:02 pm (UTC)
I'll let you know about the public stoning. Luckily, you came out as a non-Casablanca lover the same day as Rick professed to liking Return of the King over Citizen Kane, so I can tie you both to the same post. It'll just have to be anchored in concrete, or else Rick'll just pull it up and swing it at my head. He's a big 'un, I hear tell.

And actually, I've posted at least one entry a day, every day since I started the blog a little over two years ago. It's just a habit at this point.
Friday, August 1st, 2008 | 01:47 am (UTC)
Anonymous
Yeah, I'm glad I didn't bet money on how long you'd post every day, because I'd've lost badly. Though posting YouTube links is something of a cheat.

Then again I've posted on my own site just once this year, so who am I to talk?

--Varjak
Friday, August 1st, 2008 | 03:10 pm (UTC)
Posting YouTube videos is a cheat, is it? Well, won't I feel like shit when I post one in a few minutes?
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