As a great philosopher once said — I think it was Andrew Dice Clay — “The old year is gone, oh how time does fly. To you and your family: I hope you all die.”
Okay, so that’s actually the opposite of the sentiment I mean to express. What I mean to say, by expressing my desire for you and your loved ones to meet tragically premature ends, is that I hope you all had a good time ringing in the new year last night. I certainly did. Ashley and I sat in the basement of my Mom and Dad’s house and watched the ball drop all by ourselves, while a small group of drunk guests swilled champagne upstairs, out of sight and earshot. It was great. I always say that my ideal way to spend New Year’s Eve is to stay home and go to sleep around ten o’clock, but last night was an acceptable alternative.
Today I carried out what has become a New Year’s Day habit for me the last four or five years: going out to spend another chunk of Christmas money. Ashley and I went to Wal-Mart after breakfast, and I got a few articles of clothing and two wrestling DVDs — three-disc sets devoted to The Rock and the WWE Intercontinental Championship. Ashley saw the DVDs in my hand and looked as though I’d just presented her with the lifeless, partially eaten remains of her kitty cat. She still hasn’t recovered from the indignity of having to stand in line with a guy at Wal-Mart buying wrestling DVDs.
I’ve spent the days since Christmas trying to fill in a few huge gaping holes that remain in my movie and TV collection. Besides the wrestling, I’ve also purchased or ordered the complete set of The Twilight Zone, all five Dirty Harry movies, the Ed Wood boxed set I’d seen at Borders so many times, and the new boxed set of all four Indiana Jones films. I re-watched Kingdom of the Crystal Skull the other day; I still don’t get the venom directed at that movie by some. It’s not a great movie by any stretch, but Jesus, it wasn’t that bad. People made such a huge stink about the aliens, but is it any more far-fetched than the Ark of the Covenant melting Nazis or the Holy Grail allowing a knight to live for thousands of years in a cave? I thought that episode of South Park was hilarious, but I can’t call the film a rape of Indiana Jones. The Star Wars prequels, now that was rape. Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was just a fair bit of fantasy and action — extraneous, gratuitous, but nothing too terrible.
I never thought Temple of Doom was that bad, either. Man, people have high standards for Indiana Jones, don’t they?
Ashley’s sister got me the first season of the new Battlestar Galactica series, so we’re about to go start watching that. I’ve never seen it, though I’ve been curious. I always did think Ronald D. Moore should have been the guy in charge of Star Trek, not Rick Berman. Now I’ll get to see what Dwight Schrute is always going on about.