Today at the Rotten Library I learned . . .
. . . Judas wasn’t such a bad dude.
Which has always been my view, anyway. Oh, Judas was seduced by money and Satan into betraying the Lord to the Romans (and the Jews!), it’s all the fault of Judas that Christ was crucified, he’s history’s greatest traitor. But Christian salvation is based 100% on Jesus dying for the sins of humanity. If Jesus hadn’t been executed, had lived to a ripe old age of 40-something and died of scurvy or whatever, then nobody would get to Heaven, not even John Hagee. So if Judas hadn’t turned Jesus in to the authorities (since apparently Jesus couldn’t just, like, turn himself in), wouldn’t you all be in a fucking cute fix?
The dude makes your crummy religion possible and you spend 2,000 years dissing him and giving him shit for taking 30 pieces of silver from the Pharisees? Fuck you, that was a lot of money back then! He didn’t know he was gonna hang himself/fall down and tear his stomach open on a rock – he thought he was gonna have kids to feed someday.