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Steve Likes to Curse
Writing, comics and random thoughts from really a rather vulgar man
The Onion on the Catholic Church Pedophilia Scandal 
Monday, April 5th, 2010 | 06:01 pm [humor, religion]
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As is often the case, The Onion has gotten right to the heart of things in the ongoing Vatican pedophilia scandal.  While Pope Ratzinger and other church officials make excuses, plead technicalities, and blame the media, the writers of the funniest fake newspaper in the world crucify the infallible vicar of Christ (and his bullshit, weasel defense arguments) on his own cross.

Check it out:


Pope Vows To Get Church Pedophilia Down To Acceptable Levels

VATICAN CITY—Calling the behavior shameful, sinful, and much more frequent than the Vatican was comfortable with, Pope Benedict XVI vowed this week to bring the widespread pedophilia within the Roman Catholic Church down to a more manageable level.

Addressing thousands gathered at St. Peter's Square on Easter Sunday, the pontiff offered his most humble apologies to abuse victims, and pledged to reduce the total number of molestations by 60 percent over the next five years.

“This is absolutely unacceptable,” Pope Benedict said. “It seems a weakening of faith in God has prevented our priests from exercising moderation when sexually abusing helpless minors.”

(Read the rest at The Onion . . .)

Thank you, Onion, for teaching us to laugh at despicable, ass-covering scumbags who lie to protect rapists of children . . . again.
Comments 
Tuesday, April 6th, 2010 | 04:37 pm (UTC)
Anonymous
Should Christianity be "safe, sane, and consentual"?
Tuesday, April 6th, 2010 | 07:16 pm (UTC)
Religion will never be truly consensual until we stop teaching it to children as though its claims were facts. Imagine if parents indoctrinated their sons and daughters into BDSM the way many do their religion.
Wednesday, April 7th, 2010 | 04:55 am (UTC)
Anonymous
That's one of the many things that is wrong with codified religions; we indoctrinate children who are not old enough to make that type of decision. But covering up child abuse.........I nearly despise Christianity enough to say, "How Christian of these priests", but I know there are probably other codified, heavily practiced religions where the same could be found.
Wednesday, April 7th, 2010 | 01:17 pm (UTC)
I'm sure there are. What makes me laugh (cynically) is how Vatican officials and PR reps have tried to use that as an excuse for the crimes committed by the pope and his lieutenants when they took steps to cover up the crimes of their child-raping priests.

"This isn't a uniquely Catholic thing," they say. "Abuse has happened all over the world, throughout the centuries, in all faiths."

Okay, fair enough. And irrelevant. Joseph Ratzinger and other high-ranking Vatican officials still knew of priests who were long-time serial pederasts and did nothing to stop them. No one was fired (or "defrocked," as it's called when a priest is shitcanned), and no one contacted the police.

I don't believe in prayer, but if I did I'd pray Pope Benedict's eventual prison sentence is long enough for him to die in his cell.
Thursday, April 8th, 2010 | 10:29 pm (UTC)
Anonymous
The thing amazes me is that there are actually "good" Christians out there who would scream that the pope is getting "persecuted" if he got a prison sentence long enough for him to die in his cell.
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