As is often the case, The Onion has gotten right to the heart of things in the ongoing Vatican pedophilia scandal. While Pope Ratzinger and other church officials make excuses, plead technicalities, and blame the media, the writers of the funniest fake newspaper in the world crucify the infallible vicar of Christ (and his bullshit, weasel defense arguments) on his own cross.
Check it out:
Pope Vows To Get Church Pedophilia Down To Acceptable Levels
VATICAN CITY—Calling the behavior shameful, sinful, and much more frequent than the Vatican was comfortable with, Pope Benedict XVI vowed this week to bring the widespread pedophilia within the Roman Catholic Church down to a more manageable level.
Addressing thousands gathered at St. Peter's Square on Easter Sunday, the pontiff offered his “most humble apologies” to abuse victims, and pledged to reduce the total number of molestations by 60 percent over the next five years.
“This is absolutely unacceptable,” Pope Benedict said. “It seems a weakening of faith in God has prevented our priests from exercising moderation when sexually abusing helpless minors.”
(Read the rest at The Onion . . .)
Thank you, Onion, for teaching us to laugh at despicable, ass-covering scumbags who lie to protect rapists of children . . . again.