As reported today by USA Today, DC Comics is celebrating the upcoming publishing of Superman #700 by launching an all-new interactive storyline — or as I like to call it, a “stunt” — where the writers of selected essays will see the Man of Steel visit their home towns in the pages of upcoming issues of Superman.
If you want DC Comics employees to visit your community to take reference photographs and identify landmarks that could be destroyed in a super-powered slugfest between Superman and Metallo or Atlas, go here to read the rules and requirements.
But don’t get too excited yet. As part of the upcoming “Grounded” storyline, Superman will be traveling across the United States and visiting communities along the way to get back in touch with the little people. But his itinerary is pretty tight, unfortunately. He won’t have time to visit everybody’s home town. Or even everybody’s region of the country. Superman’s cross-country road trip will be limited to towns within fifty miles of these major cities:
Chicago, Des Moines, Omaha, Denver, Salt Lake City, Las Vegas, Los Angeles, Portland, and Seattle
Mapped out, the route Supes will take during “Grounded” looks like this:
Does this look a little funny to anyone else? Metropolis has usually been imagined to exist somewhere in the northeast, packed in there somehow alongside Gotham City, Opal City, New Carthage, Empire City, and all those real places like New York City and Boston, so it’s not surprising that Superman isn’t spending a lot of time there. Shit, the people who live there are probably sick of him, anyway — you can only see your city’s infrastructure demolished by superheroes and supervillains trying to kill each other so many times before the bloom falls off the rose. I also don’t blame Superman — or anyone else — for avoiding Texas. But what does Superman have against the southeast? Is he too good to show his face in Atlanta? What about Florida? I’m sure all those retired widows would appreciate a visit from such a nice young man.
Would it kill him to stop by the gulf coast? Shit, he wouldn’t even have to help with the clean-up if he was in a hurry. Just seeing him would boost morale. Look how excited everyone gets when the president drops in.