Last night Ashley got out of work early and came with me to my screenwriting class. It was a fucking ball. There’s only three of us in the class to start with, so an extra person throws everyone into overdrive. It seemed like we all laughed a lot more than usual, and I know I said more last night than I have since I walked in the door the first day of class. Turns out Tyler, one of the other guys, is a Modest Mouse fan, and we had an interesting little chat before class and during the break. And he seems to like my screenplay concept, which is always cool.
So wouldn’t you know, the good times couldn’t last. We were measuring the respiration rates of mice in Biology lab today. There was a single casualty, a mouse who just didn’t make it out of the beaker (literally, he was still lying in there when class was over — the professor had no idea what to do with him), and of course he was one of mine. He seemed fine until we finished taking the last reading, then he curled up and died before we could get him out. It looked like he pissed and shit himself before he went, so the theory of my lab group is he had a heart attack. Some mice just aren’t made for science, I guess. It was sad. The other two we tested were just fine, though. They seemed to enjoy themselves; we couldn’t coax them out of the beakers. The professor discreetly shook one out, and I got another to crawl out by laying the beaker sideways in the cage with the rest of the mice.
It wasn’t all bad news, though. Right before our mouse gave up the ghost, one of the others gave birth to a litter of babies. Professor Brown moved the rest of the mice from that cage into an empty one to leave the new mom alone with her brood of tiny pinkies.
Speaking of Professor Brown, she started the lab by warning us to be nice to the mice, saying that if anything happened to one of them she would get “very cranky.” After ours bit the dust, she spent the rest of the class making jokes about it. Not that I minded. It’s just that she wasn’t very funny. Another guy got the best line in right after our mouse died: He counted up the babies that had been born up to that point, did the math, then announced “Well, it’s okay, we’re still ahead three.”