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Steve Likes to Curse
Writing, comics and random thoughts from really a rather vulgar man
Riffing on Mail Call 
Friday, June 1st, 2007 | 11:55 am [commentary, hagerstown, humor, mail call]
Steve
Rick at Bent Corner has an article up today about the silly editing to which his recent letter to Hagerstown’s blind and deaf town crier, the Herald-Mail, was subjected. He wrote in about Jerry Falwell, calling the blessedly deceased an “idiot” at one point, which someone at the paper decided was too harsh a thing to say about the man who used to masturbate himself to sleep with thoughts of a Christian-led gay holocaust, and changed to “fool.” Rick seemed a little cheesed-off at this, and I don’t blame him — secretly editing the words of a reader before publishing his letter is one thing, but doing it to soften a blow against a fuck like Falwell makes no sense at all.
 
So it’s in that “fuck the Herald-Mail” spirit that I now offer another installment of Riffing on Mail Call, taken from anonymous calls and emails published these past few days. First, someone who actually gets it:
 
"I have been reading the 'You Said It' column. I read the article about the 10-year-old who was raped in Oak Ridge, and whoever said that is right. The Herald-Mail really upset me because on the front page on Tuesday's paper, two main articles were about swimming and a spelling bee, then on the A3 page, there was an article of the Maryland State Police barrack commander, and on the sideline of the same page is an article about solving a sexual assault cold case. No offense to the other people in the other articles, but I think the cold case is more important than any of these articles, and that is what should have been on the front page. And there needs to be more help finding the man who raped the 10-year-old child in Oak Ridge."
 
The spelling bee on the front page and the rape of a local child in a sidebar on A3. That’s our Herald-Mail! I’m sure that myself and whoever this person is aren’t the only ones to have a serious problem with the fucked-up priorities of our one and only local paper. Having published this person’s opinion and indirectly acknowledged the issue, look for the Herald-Mail to carry on with business as usual. Already set for tomorrow’s edition of the Morning Herald: “Hagerstown Gets the Blues!” for the front page, and “Herald-Mail Staffer Bob Parasiliti Eats Entire Litter of Puppies” on page A12.
 
Speaking of the Blues Fest, Ashley and I plan on being there most of the day tomorrow. We’ll be the only two people not drunk off our asses by 1 P.M., so say hello if you’re out there.
 
"Driving around town, I've noticed an awful lot of roofing crews working on homes, and I'd just like to remind everybody that you need an MHIC license to work in Maryland, and any company doing any home improvement work has to display their business name and MHIC number on their vehicles and on the job site." - Hagerstown
 
This guy sounds like the kind of douchebag who’d turn his own co-workers in to the boss for not wearing safety goggles or rubber gloves. Yes, yes, yes, they need a home improvement license, very good. You know the rules, don’t you? It isn’t fair that you got your license but they didn’t bother, is it? Have a cookie. Hey, don’t you host a show on the Fox New Channel weeknights at 8? ‘Cause you sound just like him.
 
"I heard on the news a day that four ladies got fired for gossiping in the workplace; especially, I think they were gossiping about their boss. I just think that boss did a most marvelous thing, and I wish more authorities in our workplaces would fire people for gossiping, because it's one of the most dastardly and abominable things that can happen." - Rohrersville
 
“One of the most dastardly and abominable things that can happen?” I don’t know, that might be a touch overstated. A lot of shit can happen. Mountain-sized asteroids can crash into the Earth. Terrorists can kill thousands of people in a few seconds. Hillary Clinton can get elected President of the United States. Spreading a little gossip doesn’t seem so bad next to that, does it? I agree that gossiping isn’t a good thing, especially at work — they should save that for church — but what’s the big deal? Why do you care so much, Rohrersville — are you who that boss was fucking?
 
"When running for election, the Democrats promised, they vowed to do something about this Iraq war, the high price of gas, and the earmarked additional spending attached to spending bills before them, and they've accomplished what they've promised. The gas prices are up 40 percent since they took control, they just approved with no strings attached additional billions for the Iraq war, and they dismantled the agency which reported earmarked spending to the taxpayer."
- Hagerstown
 
The Democrats and Republicans in Congress have both done wrong by the troops and by the American people, but what else is new? The government acts in its own best interest, not in the best interests of its people. It’s been that way since way before I was born. But if we want to place exact blame for high gas prices, it should go to the president and not the Congress. Check out this article from about a week ago, telling how the House passed a bill that would impose severe penalties on anyone engaged in gasoline price gouging. Bush, who has vetoed almost nothing in his six years in office, threatened to veto this one before it even reached the Senate. You tell me who he’s looking out for.
 
"The U.S. should and will need to go back to a military draft, for several reasons. One is that most of our young people need the discipline, and to learn respect. Get them off the streets. If they want to shoot people, let them do it legally by shooting our enemies. If they refuse to go into the service, and leave the country, that's better yet. The second reason: With all the immigrants, both legally and illegally coming to this country, not many are going to volunteer to join our armed forces, because they are so used to getting practically everything free." - Hagerstown
 
You’re so right; teaching “discipline” to our young people is way more important than protecting their freedom and liberty by not subjecting them to forced military conscription. As for immigrants in the military, get your facts straight. According to several online resources (including this one), there are 60,000 immigrants currently serving in the U.S. armed forces, about half of whom are not citizens. It seems many of them do volunteer to join our armed forces, perhaps because, having fled poverty the likes of which few in America have ever seen, they are not so used to getting everything free afterall, you sanctimonious fuck.
 
I started out with someone who gets it, so I’ll end it the same way:
 
"It seems that we are having the same problem we have every presidential election: not one of the candidates are worth (anything.) When it gets down to it, you either have to vote Democrat or Republican because no other party or person is rich enough to get on the ballot. And then if they do, they can't get any air time because the Dems and Repubs have literally pushed them out or bought up all the TV and newspaper spots so no one knows there's something else out there besides these lame parties. Just remember people, when you are forced to pick between two political parties that are just as bad as the other, you are not doing your civic duty. Voting for the lesser of two evils is just that, evil."
 
Can I get an Amen?
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