I’m taking Spanish 101 and 102 this summer. My professor has an affinity for telling jokes. They don’t teach us any Spanish, but they serve some need for the old guy, so who am I to bitch? Plus, every time he stops to tell a joke it eats up several minutes when we could be sweating trying to learn to speak fucking Spanish! Here’s one of the recent ones:
This guy is stuck in the middle of the desert, dying of thirst. By sheer chance he comes upon another man walking from the opposite direction. “Please, sir,” the dying man says, “can I have a drink of water?”
“Sorry,” the stranger says, “I don’t have any. All I have is this collection of neckties I’m taking into town to sell.” So the stranger goes on his way, and the dying man continues his trek through the desert. Incredibly, not long after, he spots another stranger headed his way. “Please,” the dying man begs the new stranger, “can I have a drink of water?”
“Sorry,” this stranger also tells him, “but I’m not carrying any water. Just these ties I’m hoping to sell.” And this second stranger goes on his way as well. The dying man continues on his way and, astonishingly, encounters yet another stranger coming from the opposite direction. “Please, kind sir,” the man says, “I am dying of thirst. May I have a drink of water?”
The third stranger shakes his head regretfully and says, “No, I don’t have any water. Just a few ties I’m taking with me to market.” And the third stranger leaves.
The dying man staggers through the desert until — miraculously — he finds himself in front of a grand resort hotel. He drags his ass up the steps to the doorman and pleads with him, “Please, sir, I’ve just crossed the desert and I haven’t had a drink for days! I’m dying of thirst! Please may I have some water?”
The doorman looks at him and sighs. “We have plenty of water for you in our restaurant,” he says, “but I can’t let you in without a tie.”
I dunno . . . it seemed funnier when it was in Spanish and I didn’t know what half of it meant, ya know?