—The first day of December — you have got to be shitting me. Seems like it was just Thanksgiving.
—It’s interesting how things you’ve been familiar with and even forgotten about for years can suddenly become incredibly funny. Case in point: the scene in A Clockwork Orange where Alex returns to the home of the man whose wife he raped earlier in the film, and eats dinner and drinks wine after the guy has realized who Alex is. For some reason, this week both Ashley and I suddenly found ourselves shouting “Food . . . all right?” and “Try the wine!” at each other. Then, just today, Ashley was watching her DVD of Closer, and I was unexpectedly struck by how hilarious it is when Clive Owen says to Julia Roberts, “I slept with someone in New York. A whore.” You try saying that line outloud in a Clive Owen accent and not cracking the fuck up. It’s tough.
—Ever notice how everyone in the entire world other than me and the people I like is a total fucking douchébag?
—I thought about it for a few minutes last night after Ashley and I watched My Left Foot at the Shepherdstown Film Society, and I decided that the Catholic prohibition against birth control is probably the most destructive religious doctrine in the history of humanity.
—Judging by the looks of those girls on MSNBC earlier this week when Dennis Hof announced his endorsement of Ron Paul, I think Ann Coulter might have a pretty good fallback career once she finally fucks herself out of a writing career. They’d have to keep the lights off, since I can’t imagine anyone being able to maintain a hard-on once he realizes Ann Coulter is in the room, but it’s not like anyone goes to the BunnyRanch for the pretty faces, anyway.
—Which is more barbaric — boxing, or ultimate fighting? I’d have to say boxing, since they only hug each other after the fight is over; in the UFC, they hug each other all the way through sometimes.
—Today is the birthday of four very funny people: Woody Allen, in 1935; Richard Pryor, in 1940; Sarah Silverman, in 1970; and, in 1962, Marvel Comics artist and Editor-in-Chief Joe Quesada, who once tried to make a living penciling Ninjak.