No, John McCain is no longer the exciting nonconformist he was in 2000 when he came so tantalizingly close to beating George W. Bush for the Republican nomination. He’s eight years older now, eight years which he has mostly spent publicly fellating Bush, the man who won the 2000 primaries in part because of the incredibly dirty, racist underground campaign he waged against McCain in South Carolina. So he’s lost quite a bit of his luster. If calling his campaign bus the Straight Talk Express was a bit of a stretch in 2000, it’s fucking ridiculous now.
There are still reasons to vote for McCain, though, if you happen to be a Republican. For starters, he isn’t Rudy Giuliani, Mitt Romney, Mike Huckabee, that basset hound Fred Thompson, or that occasional disseminator of racism, homophobia and southern separatism, Ron Paul. For another thing, whatever flaws he carries in his character or his beliefs, McCain is still a damn funny, likable guy. But speaking loudest of all in his favor is this: John McCain is still able and willing to curse like a motherfucking marine.
Think Progress is one of the better left-wing blogs out there, though it frequently lacks a sense of humor. In an article posted yesterday, Think Progress blogger Amanda documented McCain’s history of verbally abusing his colleagues in the U.S. Senate. This was meant to disparage McCain, to point out how he has lowered the level of discourse in American politics by losing his temper with those who disagree with him. According to the Boston Herald, the Mitt Romney campaign has also circulated a memo characterizing McCain as a hothead with a vicious temper. But take a look at some of the things he has said over the years, and to whom he has said them:
- During a meeting with fellow Republican senators in October 1999, McCain said to then-Budget Committee chairman Pete Domenici (R-New Mexico), “Only an asshole would put together a budget like this.” Domenici responded that in all his years in Washington, through many impassioned arguments, no one had ever called him a name like that. McCain replied, “I wouldn’t call you an asshole unless you really were an asshole.”
- In the midst of a discussion about the fate of men missing in action from the Vietnam War, Senator Charles Grassley (R-Iowa) asked McCain, “Are you calling me stupid?” To which McCain replied, “No, I’m calling you a fucking jerk.”
- This past May, during the heated debate over a proposed immigration reform bill, McCain reportedly screamed at Senator John Cornyn (R-Texas), “Fuck you!” McCain added, “This is chickenshit stuff. You’ve always been against this bill, and you’re just trying to derail it.”
All of these profanity-laced tirades occurred in front of other senators, and all were directed against members of his own party. How can you even think about voting for a spaghetti-spined douche like Huckabee or Romney over McCain?
Republicans of America, please, I beseech you: vote for this man.