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Steve Likes to Curse
Writing, comics and random thoughts from really a rather vulgar man
The Astounding Spider-Man: "And Now a Message From Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man!" 
Tuesday, April 15th, 2008 | 04:25 pm (UTC)
1. Please select the person whom you
are willing to represent you along with 434 other Representatives and 100 Senators in Congress assembled to decide the following:
a. What you can eat
b. What you can drink
c. What you can buy
d. What you can sell
e. Where you can work
f. Where you can live
g. Who you can use to treat you and care for you when you are sick, injured, or old
h. Who you can use to build your house or building for your business
i. What you can drive or ride in
j. What you can fly or fly in
k. What you can burn as fuel in your car, plane, house, business, tent, stove, etc.
l. What you have to pay for the "privilege" of flying, driving, walking or riding across lands of which you are part-owner.
m. What you can hunt for food and when and where
n. Who you can use to represent you in legal matters
o. Who can tell you want to do with your own house, your own car, your own yard, your own body, and your own children.
p. What tools you can use to protect yourself
q. Any other matter which this representative and his/her fellows decide that they can decide for you, at any time, subject only to a majority decision by nine old people in robes.

Select ONE:
___ Candidate A:
___ Candidate B:
Note: some jurisdictions may NOT allow one or more of the following:
___ Candidate C:
___ Candidate D:
___ Write-in: _________________
___ None of the Above

Please note: the decision of who to represent you is NOT your personal individual choice. Instead, your selection must be tallied with the selection of somewhere between 300,000 and 1 million other people, and ONLY the person who is selected by a plurality (NOT a majority) of the people who respond will be "representing" you. Also, the other 434 Representatives reserve the right to refuse to honor the choice made by you and your fellows (or made by a plurality of your fellows against your will) and not allow the choice to serve, for any reason whatsoever. Also please note that this person will
represent you, whether you like their work or not, until the next election. Also note that even though decisions may be made by this person in their personal life which demonstrate that they cannot reasonably represent you or the majority of the persons they are "representing," there is no process by which you or any other person can recall them or
relieve them of this authority.

Payment: Payment is not required at this time, and is decided by this representative and his/her fellows during the next two year period, in addition to that decided by their predecessors. At present, this equals approximately 50% of your gross annual income, but may increase and will be very unlikely to decrease. This fee must be paid in advance of all other obligations, including food, medical care, clothing, housing, or any other necessity. No refund.
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