Nevertheless, I applaud the honesty from the man who once proudly rode the Straight Talk Express. Sarah Palin is a pig. I’ll get back to that in a second. First, I was curious this morning about what a pig actually looks like with lipstick, so I busted the lock off of the gate of a local West Virginia hog farmer and helped myself to what I considered to be the cutest of his stock. Below is a pic I snapped of the little princess once I got her home:
What a cutie my little piggy is! I named her “Black Eyes,” on account of those two Satanic marbles staring out from either side of her head — “Blackie” for short. I borrowed one of Ashley’s lipsticks, a lovely, subtle shade that looks quite fetching on my sweetie, and which I figured would only improve the looks of dear Blackie. So I applied some lipstick to her . . . and the effect was stunning. I took another photo:
Thank you, good night!
And hey, Palin already likened herself to a pit bull. Would being called a pig be so bad after that? I’m normally a dog person, true, but how many children’s faces get ripped off by pigs every year?
Seriously, though — Barack Obama didn’t call Sarah Palin a pig. He’s got too much class to ever do that. I, however, am not running for any office, and am just not that classy of a guy when you get right down to it, so I will call her a pig all fucking day long.
Sarah Palin is a pig. I don’t mean because she’s physically unattractive, or a slob, or any of the other superficial reasons people get called pigs.
I think someone who inquires how to ban books — that old chestnut of totalitarianism — in her hometown is a pig. (Her response to the book-banning charge is to claim her conversation with the town librarian, which resulted in the termination of the librarian, was merely “rhetorical.” Fine. Should we elect to the vice presidency someone who “rhetorically” asks around about how she might move Native Alaskans into internment camps, for instance?)
I think someone who refuses to provide health care and retirement benefits to same-sex partners of state employees until forced to by the state supreme court, and then pushes for an amendment to the state constitution to overrule the court decision, is a pig.
I think someone who promotes drilling for oil in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge while opposing federal protection of polar bears and beluga whales as endangered species is a pig.
I think someone who hired a lobbying firm to secure $27,000,000 in earmarked federal funds for her hometown, and as governor supported the $450,000,000 “Bridges to Nowhere” until they became unpopular, and then claims to be a reformer and an enemy of corruption, is a pig.
She’s the same old pig that conservative ideologues have been trying to sneak onto a national ticket for decades — a proud enemy of free speech, an outspoken opponent of civil rights for gay Americans, a champion of the oil industry who displays open contempt for her own state’s natural beauty, a hypocrite who promises fiscal responsibility, yet eagerly accepts and even actively courts government largesse when it serves her interests. Now she’s the Republican nominee to be Vice President of the United States. All it took was a little lipstick.