This election has me a wreck. I'll be glad when it's over.
How do people do this? I liked it way better the other seven times when I didn't give a shit who won. I need an escape, a respite, a short sabbatical, if you will. I need the reassuring, non-threatening humor of Ernest P. Worrell.
When I was a child growing up in Clear Spring, the only source for movies other than what was being shown on television or in the theaters was Ole Trail Video. It was located in what you might call midtown Clear Spring, halfway between the traffic lights, across the street from the hardware store. When we got our first VCR around 1989 or so, Ole Trail became a regular haunt. In addition to the modest (but, to my innocent eyes, awesome) selection of VHS tapes, there was a WWF Wrestling Challenge arcade game on which I wasted many a day's lunch money change.
One of my most frequent rentals from Ole Trail was one of Jim Varney's Ernest greatest hits tapes. It had a feature on it called Hey Vern! It's My Family Album, where Varney portrayed a series of Ernest's notable ancestors. There was colonial Indian fighter Cpl. Davy Worrell, redneck great uncle Lloyd Worrell, and my personal favorite, 1930s fighter pilot Ace Worrell. Thanks to the magic of YouTube, I can share this childhood favorite/adult guilty pleasure with all of you:
I feel a little better. Sure hope Obama wins, though. Happy Halloween, too, knowwhutImean?