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Steve Likes to Curse
Writing, comics and random thoughts from really a rather vulgar man
News of the Day: Michael Jackson Edition 
Saturday, June 27th, 2009 | 10:54 pm [humor, news]

Experts fear bloody succession following death of King of Pop


Just two days after the shocking death of Michael, King of Pop, experts are already predicting a bloody war of succession as several factions vie to fill the power vacuum he leaves behind.


Mere hours after the king was pronounced dead, his brother Jermaine spoke to reporters and a throng of anxious peasants to confirm that heir apparent Prince Michael Joseph Jackson Jr. would succeed to the throne as King Michael II upon reaching the age of majority. “Until Prince Michael is old enough to be formally crowned, I will rule as regent in his name,” Jermaine declared to the crowd that had gathered outside the royal palace, adding “the King of Pop is dead. Long live the King of Pop!”


The late ruler, born Michael Joseph Jackson, declared himself King of Pop in 1988 after conquering the realms of R&B, Soul, Rock and Music Video. He was considered the most powerful and influential monarch since the death of Elvis, King of Rock and Roll, in 1977.


Longtime observers of the kingdom expect several factions to challenge the claim of Prince Michael, particularly in light of the news of Jermaine’s regency. One such challenge has surfaced already in the form of Justin Timberlake, the former N’Sync member who has patterned his solo career after the deceased king. “The king’s brother says he will rule until the dauphin is ready to take the throne,” Timberlake told a crowd of supporters in Los Angeles. “But I say the king is dead! And his scion’s claim to the throne died with him!”


Then, shouting over chants of “King Justin! King Justin!”, Timberlake continued, “My friends! My people! Together, we will show them who want to be startin’ somethin’!”


Timberlake will likely be joined in his challenge of the Jackson dynasty by several others, including, experts predict, Eminem, Britney Spears, and the Cyrus/Jonas Coalition.



E! to air reenactments of Jackson 911 call


Cable network E! announced plans today to air a staged reenactment of the 911 call made after pop superstar Michael Jackson was discovered unconscious and unresponsive at his home on June 25. Jackson was later pronounced dead. The audio recording of the call was released to the media the next day.


E! made headlines and garnered impressive ratings with a series of reenactments of the singer’s 2005 trial on charges of child sexual abuse. The network has already confirmed that Edward Moss, who portrayed Jackson in the trial reenactments, will be returning for the 911 call recreation.


Though E! declined to comment on any possible projects beyond the 911 reenactment, Moss confirmed that he has been retained to star in a reenactment of the Jackson autopsy, assuming ratings for the 911 call recreation are high enough to warrant production.

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