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Steve Likes to Curse
Writing, comics and random thoughts from really a rather vulgar man
If I wrote sunglasses commercials 
Monday, October 16th, 2006 | 01:29 pm [humor, writing]

“Wow, Dad, look!”




“My sunglasses!  When we walked into the shade just now, the lenses went from dark to light!”


“Why’re you wearing your sunglasses in the shade?  You think you’re better than other people?  Gimme those.”


“You crushed my sunglasses!”


“You want ‘em back?  There ya go!”


“OW!  Dad, that hurt!”


“Yeah well, that’ll teach you, won’t it?”


“Oh my God, I’m bleeding . . .”


“Look, don’t tell your mother I punched you in the face, okay?  She hates it when I punch you kids in the face.”


“I think you broke my nose . . .”


“Just tell her you walked into a porch or something.”


“A piece of the lens went in my eye!”


“I’m just tired of taking shit over you kids all the time.  Get in the truck.  Here, I’ll get the door for you.”


“There’s blood all over my shirt . . .”


“Oh, fuck, is that thing still bleeding? . . . Here, lemme get you a couple paper towels to . . . there, shove those up in there, that’ll clog it up.”


“It hurts and I feel dizzy . . .”


“Yeah, there ya go.  I’m a good daddy to you, ain’t I, boy?”


“Where are we going?”


“I need to stop down here at McNamee’s.”




“Have a couple beers.  Don’t worry, you can wait in the truck.”


“Can we please just go home?  I think I should lie down.”


“Oh give it a motherfucking rest, will you?  You think my life is a fucking trip to Disneyland?  Fuck no, but do I complain?”


“I see spots . . .”

“That’s normal for as hard as I hit you.”

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