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Steve Likes to Curse
Writing, comics and random thoughts from really a rather vulgar man
David Icke: Proof not all British folks are smart 
Sunday, July 26th, 2009 | 01:28 pm [conspiracy theories]
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It’s always a little disconcerting when some cherished, closely held belief of yours is proven to be less than the absolute truth. It can be disillusioning, and a little depressing. Remember how you felt when you realized there was no Santa Claus? Or that Ronald Reagan wasn’t actually that great of a president? Or that, despite the accent, not all British folks possess superior intelligence?

 

Yesterday I was reminded of that last one when I watched Bill Maher’s film Religulous, in which he interviews one David Icke.

 

To call David Icke a conspiracy theorist would almost be an insult to the rest of the group. You think the 9/11 Truthers and tax protestors are nutty? Icke makes Alex Jones and that nutsack Jerome Corsi look lucid and rational by comparison. Which means he must be pretty crazy, right? Oh, my brothers and sisters . . .

 

Icke shares with many other conspiracy theorists a paranoid fear of global government. He’s convinced that there are secret powers behind the scenes pulling the strings, powerful people accountable to no one who are manipulating the world for their own selfish ends, and who can drop the hammer on us all whenever they feel like it. That’s not the crazy part. Relatively speaking, I mean. Objectively, it’s fucking insane and completely unsupported by any evidence whatsoever, but it’s also boilerplate for these guys, the conspiracy theorist equivalent of believing that the Earth is round and the Sun is at the center of the solar system. It’s just the basics. David Icke isn’t satisfied with the basics.

 

For the ruthless dictators secretly controlling our society are no mere men, you see. They are alien invaders from a planet in the constellation Draco. They look like us, but looks can be deceiving. Our overlords are actually shape-shifting lizards. You may think this is the wild delusion of a dangerously unstable man, but the evidence is right in front of your face. You’ve actually seen these lizard-men. Not in their true form, of course, but you know their names: Queen Elizabeth II, Tony Blair, and George Bush (both of them!) to name only a few. Icke claims to have spoken to numerous witnesses who have seen George H.W. Bush change his shape many times.

 

Bear in mind, he reports this information with utter seriousness. He is convinced that metamorphic extraterrestrial reptiles have been secretly ruling our planet since just about forever. He’s also a big believer in just about every other conspiracy theory you can think of, just with his own personal twist. Sure, the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001 were orchestrated by the U.S. government, and FEMA is getting vast internment camps ready to receive the soon-to-be-enslaved population, and secret cabals of the wealthy and powerful are about to establish an inescapable global dictatorship — but it’s the space lizards that are ultimately behind the whole thing.

 

Icke has been blowing this horn since 1990, and I’ll at least give him credit for this: he hasn’t gone stale. He consistently updates his act. Because let’s face it, ranting and raving about shape-shifting space lizards would start to get a little old after almost twenty years. That’s why Icke is also an outspoken critic of vaccines, believes that Barack Obama is controlling our minds, and thinks that reality is actually an elaborate hologram.

 

All of this from a bloke with the most erudite and charming British accent you ever did hear. Just goes to show you, even the Brits take a shit once in awhile. If there’s a crazier, more willfully fuck-dumb human being on the planet, I don’t know his name.

Comments 
Tuesday, July 28th, 2009 | 12:16 am (UTC) - To each his own
Anonymous
Hey man, while I can see why David Icke might sound silly and crazy, you also don't even begin to understand where David Icke gets all his info. Trust me, once you start stumbling on stuff that is really not in the science and history text books, you might think that that crazy David Icke dude may not be so crazy after all. I know it's hard to believe someone when the claims are very absurd-sounding, but seriously, there is more to what he's saying that just plain quackery. Take this from a man who gave truth investigation a chance (me), research everything (science, history, religion, politics, everything to connect the dots), and you're mind will never be the same.
Tuesday, July 28th, 2009 | 12:22 am (UTC) - One more thing
Anonymous
Oh, and that pic of the reptile chick, yeah, I know where it's from. It's from V, the series in which reptilian aliens come to earth and stuff. There is also a remake of the series going to come out soon from ABC.

What you probably don't know is that all of those stories and movies about reptilian aliens is not new nor original. It is actually one of the most oldest rumors that humankind has had. There is a lot of the occult involved into those stories, which I'm not going to discuss, but I encourage everyone to read about where the stories about Reptilians ruling the Earth come from. It has a very ancient past.
Tuesday, July 28th, 2009 | 12:33 am (UTC) - Here is some food for thought
Anonymous
Don't believe in the holographic reality that David Icke talks about? Here, then take it from actual scientists. If you actually studied some quantum mechanics you would understand where the idea comes from. Quantum mechanics is more and more gaining popularity due to it's ability to make predictions from the small (atoms) to the big (galaxies).

http://www.amazon.com/Holographic-Universe-Michael-Talbot/dp/0060922583

http://twm.co.nz/hologram.html

http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg20126911.300-our-world-may-be-a-giant-hologram.html

You need to pay to see this, which sucks, but hey, information is valuable. Wanna be lazy and cheap, and be kept in ignorance? Then don't bother looking for the truth, because no one is going to hand it to you, you just need to look for it, I am only giving some pieces.





Tuesday, July 28th, 2009 | 02:27 am (UTC) - Re: Here is some food for thought
Well, thanks for taking the time to comment not once but thrice, for a start. I appreciate it.

Have you studied quantum mechanics? And by studied I mean, as a scientist, not a layman who's read The Elegant Universe. I'll be the first to admit that I am nowhere near smart enough to understand exactly why quantum mechanics works, or how it's able to make some of the amazing predictions it does, but I do know this much: the "holographic universe" hypothesis is an intriguing supposition — and that's all it is. It is a possibility, given the current state of our understanding — which, in the area of quantum mechanics especially, is extremely limited. It is also a possibility that every elementary particle in our universe contains an entire universe unto itself, and that our universe, with all its nested mini-verses, is itself contained within an elementary particle of a much larger exterior reality – an extremely remote, and totally un-verifiable possibility.

On the "rumors" of lizard alien overlords you mentioned: those are called myths. Every human culture that has ever existed has had them. They aren't evidence that their stories ever actually happened. A global flood is a popular myth, found in many cultures around the world. So is a god that came to Earth as a human and was sacrificed for the good of mankind. That doesn't mean either of those things ever happened.
Sunday, October 18th, 2009 | 05:22 am (UTC)
With all due respect I would like to point out David doesn't actually think they are literal shape shifting lizards. He thinks this is how people's brains precieve them because of the reptilian dna...ok maybe he does lol. But he doesn't think that Obama or Bush are actual reptlians just that the people's brain, which decodes reality, thinks they shepeshtifted. So they just shapeshifted to them. They didn't actually shapeshift otherwise more people would see that. Oh and V is a cool show.
But when it comes to reality do you really believe this is all there is to life? As people have said have you studied quantum physics?
Thursday, September 13th, 2012 | 10:57 am (UTC) - Lizards
Anonymous
Check this out, I was recently in Florence Duomo (Cathedral) we walked the balcony around the dome to see the ceiling painting circa 1440’s and saw a lot of really weird symbols, quite Dan Brown, then Reptile people walking out of the sea now this ceiling was painted 1400&something right! No David Icke then! My question is “how did they get their ideas to paint these things”. I’m not into all this shape shifting crap so if I never get an answer who gives a shit…… but my son and wife are, we have the Icke books around the house. I’m no born again Christian but it did strike me as weird when I saw them. Charlie
Tuesday, April 9th, 2013 | 01:09 pm (UTC)
Anonymous
David Icke used to be the goalie for my local football (soccer) team. He was also once a serious TV sports presenter, and then he had that funny turn of his. He went on live telly claiming he was the Messiah or something, I seem to recall, before all this lizard stuff started.

It's very odd seeing someone who was once a very ordinary, run-of-the-mill minor celebrity end up like this. Imagine the pitcher of your local baseball team or your local TV newsreader doing this. Still kind of hard to believe.
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