Happy Christmas! And, seeing as how that much-ballyhooed most wonderful time of the year has finally arrived, I think it only appropriate that we gather together here and remember that the one and only true and legitimate reason for celebrating this holiday is to throw a birthday party for the mythologized demigod of a particular religious sect.
You heard me, kids! Santy Claus is just a fable, but Jesus is the real deal. To remind us all of that fact, here is the story of his miraculous birth — an event so miraculous, indeed, that everyone seems to forget about it the moment after it has happened (where were the three wise men when Jesus was dealing with that whole death-by-asphyxiation-while-nailed-to-a-big-ass-cross thing?) — taken directly from the Holy Bible itself, as interpreted by The Brick Testament:
Matthew 1:18, Luke 1:26 This is how Jesus Christ came to be born. God sent the angel Gabriel to a town in Galilee called Nazareth . . .