While preparing a wrestling-themed video for next week, I came upon a YouTube clip of Jake “The Snake” Roberts on a radio show last year telling a joke I had never heard before. To honor the great joke-telling tradition of passing it along, and because some of you may have never heard it, either, my rendition of this humorous bit of ribaldry is below.
Recently I ran across a friend of mine from school who I hadn’t seen in many years. He had the makings of a mad scientist when I knew him, so it came as little surprise that he had spent the years since our last meeting pursuing a career in the field of genetics, designing and growing genetically modified foods.
To illustrate the sort of work he’d been doing, he produced what appeared to be an ordinary apple. “All my life I’ve had a dream,” he told me, “a mad, wonderful dream. That dream led me to make this.” Very carefully he placed the apple in my hand and invited me to take a bite.
I did, and looked up with astonishment at my friend as I chewed. “It tastes like a grapefruit!”
Smiling proudly, he took the apple, turned it 180 degrees, and asked me to take a bite from the other side. I did. “It tastes like an apple!” I said. “This is amazing, this dream of yours!”
“That’s not the dream,” my friend said, reaching behind him for something else. “This is.” He handed me what appeared to be an ordinary orange. “That orange tastes exactly like a woman’s pussy.”
He gestured for me to take a bite. I did, and immediately had to spit it out. “Ugh,” I said, wiping my mouth on my arm, “it tastes like shit!”
“Whoops,” my friend said, turning the orange. “Other side.”