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Steve Likes to Curse
Writing, comics and random thoughts from really a rather vulgar man
Who are the ad wizards who came up with this one? 
Wednesday, December 6th, 2006 | 10:07 am [commentary, humor]

Last night Ashley and I went to Food Lion to pick up some groceries for her apartment, and I noticed that they sell a generic knockoff of Mountain Dew, which they have cleverly named Mountain Lion.  Here’s what I think of when I see the words “mountain” and “lion” next to one another:


An eight foot-long, 125-pound wild cat with inch-long fangs, the ability to run 30 or 40 miles per hour, and the strength to kill and drag prey many times its own size.  I ask you:  What about this is supposed to quench my thirst?  Having my jugular torn open by razor-sharp teeth, then being dragged through the woods and buried so I’ll keep for a snack later – ahhh, refreshing!


The only thing less appealing than a bottle of Mountain Lion would be a bottle of Mountain Dew.  Jesus Christ, how do people drink that shit?
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