So here’s an example of why communism might not be such a bad idea. I got some cash for Christmas. I prefer cash as a gift to most things, for obvious reasons; it’s just like a gift card, but you can spend it anywhere, even at the food court. I spent some of my cash on ordering a DVD set I’ve coveted for some time: Homicide: Life on the Street – The Complete Series. Every episode of one of my favorite shows ever, on DVD, and in a neat looking file drawer case, to boot. How much did it run me? I ordered it through Deep Discount DVD, so it was $179.97. Not cheap, but then again it’s every episode of a show that ran seven seasons (and didn’t turn to shit until the last of those, I want to mention), plus Deep Discount claims I saved $119.98 off the list price, so it’s actually something of a bargain.
Purely out of curiosity, I looked up what might charitably be termed an equivalent purchase (at least in terms of quantity), the complete DVD set for Star Trek: Voyager, an inferior series to Homicide in every way, and one of the worst shows in the history of television, but which also happened to run for seven seasons. How much, do you think? Some of you have probably already clicked the link, but for those of you who haven’t – guess how much. $200? Maybe $300?
Try fucking $598.08.
After the promised deep discount, I might add. The list price of the complete Voyager DVD set is $829.95. I’ve complained at length about the insane overpricing of Trek DVDs before, so this won’t sound like much of anything new, but am I missing something here? Are there people working at Viacom who really believe there is a market for the worst Star Trek show ever, on DVD, priced higher than some computers? Are these people at Viacom correct – are there preposterously wealthy Trekkies out there so keen to own the complete adventures of Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay that they will happily plunk down almost a thousand dollars list price? Are these the fruits of capitalism, then?
Star Trek: Enterprise, no television milestone, which ran only four seasons, is available on DVD in its entirety for a list price of $499.95; Deep Discount’ll let it go for the low-low price of $329.77. You can lay your hands on the complete classic Star Trek series on DVD for only $137.31 after the deep discount, over forty bucks cheaper than my dearly valued Homicide set, and made even more of a bargain by the fact that Star Trek was barely on the air for three full seasons and produced less than half the episodes Homicide did. Doing the math, at the Deep Discount price, Homicide runs me $25.71 per season. Not too shabby. Star Trek comes in at $45.77 a season, Enterprise at a stout $82.44 per season, and Voyager at a fucking morbidly obese price of $85.44 per season, all at the Deep Discount prices. Why in the name of fuck would anyone in his right mind pay $82.44 per season for episodes of Star Trek: Voyager, which was to television what an unwiped anus is to a clean pair of underwear?
Jeri Ryan had big tits – right, I forgot.
Sorry, I’ll take Andre Braugher. His tits aren’t as big, but he does this little thing called acting. He’s shitloads cheaper, too, not that I care about that sort of thing.