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Steve Likes to Curse
Writing, comics and random thoughts from really a rather vulgar man
Five Stupid Things About Batman 
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Sunday, August 17th, 2014 | 09:19 pm (UTC) - Some Bat-Thoughts
Anonymous
Hi Steve,

Love the Stupid Things video about Batman. I know it must have pained you to do it, as you said in a different Stupid Things video, "You hurt the ones you love".
I enjoy Batman, although I've read nowhere near the amount of Batman you have, so I bow to your knowledge.

About the video...I have a theory on who built the Batcave. Bruce Wayne could have taken the Bat-Toyota pick-up truck down to the Home Depot parking lot, and picked up a bunch of day laborers. The truck would have a topper with darkened windows so they couldn't see cearly where they were headed. Once in the cave, Bruce would bark out a few commands in Spanish ( as he no doubt is fluent ). Each laborer would finish small tasks, but nothing too large or complete as to give them any idea what they were doing. Much like the the Monty Python sketch about the funniest joke in the world...no one person could translate more then a couple words, or risk death by laughter from knowing too much of the whole joke.
After a day's work, Bruce would drive them back to the parking lot, drop them off, return home and immediately call INS to report them as illegals. He would then wait a couple days and drive back to the Home Depot, where there would be a fresh stock of laborers. This process would be repeated until the Batcave is complete, and all his workers would be safely back in their home countries with no clue as to what they were building.
This theory also explains how Rush Limbaugh gets dressed every morning.

My second comment is about the Bat superfans you mentioned. Have you seen the film 'Confessions of a Superhero'? Its a documentary of sorts about the people who dress up in costume and pander for money by taking pictures with tourists in Hollywood. The film focused primarily on a guy who has an unhealthy obsession with Superman (although he does kinda look like Christopher Reeve...if Christopher Reeve had no muscle ), and a guy who has a REALLY unhealthy obsession with Batman. This guy pretends he has some dark past beating up or killing people for the mob or something, and now he dresses up like Batman ( he thinks he looks like George Clooney, if George Clooney looked like a dog's nutsack and was missing teeth ). The funniest thing in the film was when they showed the Batman guy at a shooting range to look all tough and badass, then at a martial arts class, you know, to round off his extensive Bat-training. In the movie, he claimed to be a black belt, but to be a black belt, you need to know a kick or two, and it looked as though he was learning to kick for the first time THAT day. Anyway, check it out if you hadn't already.

Finally ( sorry this is long...I love to write ), when you were talking about the plausibility of Batman...his wealth, his home, his training...it got me to think of an interesting book called 'Becoming Batman: The Possibility of a Superhero' by E. Paul Zehr. Have you seen or read it? It gets very technical at times, but it pretty much covers every base for a what a person would need to do physiologically to become Batman in real life. Especially interesting is how the physical vision of Batman has changed over the years. It shows an action figure representing the 1940's Batman, and he basically has the body of Adam West. Then a 1950's version where he looks more like an athlete. A 90's version where he is even more muscled. And finally a 2000 version where he basically looks like one of those permanent residents of Gold's Gym. The guys who can't lower their arms to the sides because their lats are too huge. Its a very interesting book, Steve. Check it out if you get a chance.

Thanks for taking the time to read this and once again, excellent videos! The Herald Mail riffs are my favs! You know, we NEED people in the world like the ones who call in to the Mail, because without them, guys like us wouldn't get our laughs. I'm from Wisconsin...home to Scott Walker, Paul Ryan, Ron Johnson, and Reince Preibus...4 of the most destructive morons in government today...and all their followers. You can imagine how our version of Herald Mail would read in my small town America.

take care Steve

Jay Wendt
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