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Steve Likes to Curse
Writing, comics and random thoughts from really a rather vulgar man
Scallysburg 
Saturday, May 26th, 2007 | 11:04 pm [hagerstown, personal]
Steve
Today was the Memorial Day parade in Sharpsburg, the third for me and Ashley. The guest of honor and keynote speaker for the ceremony before the parade was none other than Lou Scally himself. Ol' Lou took the lectern dressed in his trademark gray slacks and navy blue blazer and delivered a speech worthy of a fifth grader who won an essay contest. Half of it was a recitation of the history of Memorial Day which he'd no doubt printed out from Wikipedia fifteen minutes before he left the house, and which virtually everyone listening to him must have known already. It's Sharpsburg, for Christ's sake — military-themed holidays are all that keep most of the residents going. They crawl along from Memorial Day to Independence Day to the anniversary of the Battle of Antietam in September to Veteran's Day in November. If they had a Christmas parade in Sharpsburg, you can bet the honor guard and fife and drum corps would be right up front.

Anyway, after the speech, while Ash and I watched the parade from the back of my truck, Scally happened to stroll right by us. He's a much fatter man in person, made more evident by the fact that he'd removed his jacket because of the heat and was staggering around with his sleeves rolled up, looking for a place to sit. He never got within less than a few feet of us, but I swear I could feel the pull of gravity from him. By the time he crossed the street to watch the parade from the corner, he had a barely visible ring system of gravel and unclaimed parade candy. That must be an annoying way to go through life.

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Comments 
Tuesday, June 19th, 2007 | 06:34 pm (UTC) - Kudos
Anonymous
I have no idea who you are, but your stuff is phenomenal. Keep up the good work.
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